Enough.
Enough playing small, shrugging our shoulders,
nervously laughing, casting our eyes down
when we’d rather be standing tall,
feet firmly planted on the earth,
heart and solar plexus reaching up to the sky.
Enough belittling ourselves, second guessing ourselves,
following someone else’s advice
when we feel our own sacred truth rising up from within us.
Enough saying “Oh, it’s ok” when we know “NO! It’s not ok!”
Enough displacing our anger
on the person who cut us off in traffic, our partner, our child.
Enough eating and shopping away the void,
the discontent in our heart.
Enough cleaning the kitchen counters – again –
to control the wild rage rising up from our lower belly
because it holds the power of our own becoming
into the woman, warrior, priestess we were born to be.
Enough ignoring the pain, the hurt, the fear
festering below the surface wanting to be heard, held.
Enough tearing each other down,
comparing ourselves to each other,
wishing we had her legs, her hair, her life.
THIS is the life we have.
THIS is the breath, body, breasts, hips, smile, eyes we have.
THIS is the path that is ours – to complain about or get on.
THIS is our passion, dream, struggle, challenge, opportunity.
Enough thinking we can do it alone, on our own, isolated,
mad, rage-filled fists but quiet lips.
Take your soul sister’s hand! Take it! Ask for it! Hold it!
She is your savior, sanity, solid ground
supporting your resurrection.
Lisa McCrohan, (c) 2010
Blessings,
I love this and — wow — it really nailed how I feel much of the time. (How do you know about my secret kitchen counter wiping obsession??) What a gift this poem is! A true gem;)
Quite Beautifal, Nan would Love it. : ) BB.
Woooooh! This needs to be the womens anthem!!!! I love this!!!! And will be sharing it with every woman I know! You are on fire, girl! I am now amped to become the woman I am destined to be. Thank you!
(loved this, very powerful) Ok, but how? Seriously. I feel like I have so little to offer to someone and feel like reaching out is just taking, taking, taking. Maybe if I allowed myself to receive more then I would find I have more to give in return? And what do we do with that anger, how can I channel it or transform it into some thing usable? So many more things but now I’m typing with one hand, lol!
Krista – I know what you mean about not feeling like you have anything to offer . . . but you do!! For one thing – taking from someone allows them to give – which makes that person feel valuable. And I think that you are right, that allowing yourself to receive more opens up some of what you have to give in return. /i hope that you unlock those gifts soon!!
Lisa – ok, first of all, I am amazed at how your blogs always touch a part of me that needed to hear just those words at that moment. Thank you. Secondly, you do know that your post is going to open the floodgates of people requesting favors from you, right? Me included 😉
THIS IS A LONG RAMBLING! See if any of it makes sense!
Thank you to you all for your comments on the poem. It moves my heart to get feedback that something I write touches folks. It humbles me and encourages me. Makes me thank the Divine b/c I feel like my writing is something I just “channel” and put out into the world b/c the Divine told me to…yet still feeling a bit shy and vulnerable in doing so! (there’s the ego! I’m still workin’ on that!)
Krista, I hear you, gosh, on so many levels. I don’t even know if i can accurately articulate it (still sleep deprived). So here are my random thoughts to keep the dialogue going that may not be totally formed or “answers” …just things I’m sitting with and struggling with and other things that I feel like I’m doing an ok job with (sorry this is so long!):
– practical thing I do: take time to turn inward and assess what is life-giving, what boundaries need to be in place, what limits I need to give to things, and weed out those things I can that are not life-giving. Without the daily – sometimes minute to minute “checking in” and turning inward, I can easily get off balance and allow things in my life that “take, take, take”.
– (Personal note: when i was pregnant w/ our first little honey, I was so sick and being called “back inward” that I HAD to put limits to things, put up clear boundaries, and also WEED OUT the people in my life that were sucking life out of me. In the years that have followed, I’ve had to really spend some time “checking in with myself” to ask, “IS THIS LIFE-GIVING?” – this friendship, this activity, etc. And also asking “OK SO WHAT IS MY ENERGY LIKE RIGHT NOW?” — do i have energy for being out in the world, offering people support, etc. That answer has changed for me many times depending on where I’m at in the whole “mothering” realm of my life. Now, for example, I AM able to make some dinners for friends that recently had babies, make some handmade gifts. But I do not have the energy to go out of town to visit friends by myself, talk after 8:30 pm, oooh and a whole host of other things. But the idea is that I TRY to become aware of what is life-giving for me in any season or day in my life and do those things and set limits to whatever else drains me. I’m LEARNING this. And a lot of it for me is the need to LET GO – let go of having a clean house, wanting everything to be perfect, my way of doing things, etc. This is a constant “growing edge” for me).
– related to “letting go” is letting go of the cultural crap of not asking for help, of always trying to appear “together” and able to “do it all,” of not appearing vulnerable or weak. I can’t live that way. I don’t. Or at least I’m learning to do things differently. THAT TAKES A LOT OF letting go of my ego! I don’t want to appear vulnerable or weak for fear that nobody will want to hang with me! There, I said it. But ya know, I HAVE to share from the spaces within me that are “not yet,” still learning, vulnerable, weak. I was just talking to single mom friend of mine the other day and she was saying the SAME THING – it’s sooo hard to ACCEPT, RECEIVE and yet she is DRAINED from giving, giving, giving. So, maybe it’s that’s the moment we need to ASK our sisters (etc) for something. Maybe that’s the moment we need to sit back and let the universe GIVE US what we need – open to receiving. THAT IS HAAAARD for me. My profession, life, etc screams “here! I’ll help you!” But when it comes to ME needing something, I am soooo shy and it touches a vulnerable space in me. But this fall I feel like one thing I’m working on is ASKING and RECEIVING. So I’m right there with you.
One thing I’ve noticed for myself is this: when I am all cranky about giving, then something is not right. It means I am too depleted, I’m not honoring my limits, and I need to pull back. My heart has to offer from a place of abundance – then it is freely given and with joy and compassion.
Oh I could write about 5 more pages! I am in this whole big process too of finding balance, learning to let go, learning to receiving, learning to ask, letting go of these cultural norms that aren’t life-giving or supportive.
Thought…
Channeling the anger. It has to be “received” first, accepted, allowed to flow in. NOT overwhelm us or “burn down the whole forest” as Buddha said, but it can’t be ignored or shoved down. It has to be held gently, kindly, compassionately in the spaciousness of awareness and mindfulness. “Ahhhh, there you are dear one,” as Thich Naht Hanh says. It wants to be noticed, listened to. I believe too that much of our anger, or at least mine, is also partially the “universal” anger that all beings feel, and in my case with what erks me – all women feel. I believe our anger first has to be given “air time” in order to allow it to turn into creative action ON IT”S OWN or disapate/be healed ON IT’S OWN.
I talk with a LOT of women. And soooo many of us have a rage inside that we don’t even know, can’t accept, seems to scary to look at.
But I have noticed – god I am trying to remember this on a daily basis – that anger is just an emotion. It’s nature is to flow. It only gets “out of control” when I try to stifle it or I ignore something that I am supposed to be mindful of – like just the other day…I yelled at our son. After sitting with what happened and holding it in gentle awareness, I saw that the anger was about this: something has to change! I need more sleep, more support (get someone in to clean the house, find a babysitter for one or two nights a week), more physical exercise, and more creative time for my work.
Ok I’d better stop. Please keep writing, Krista!
And Rachel – go ahead and ask! I’m working on being able to say YES when I can and NO when I can’t!
Oh –some of the easiest stuff we can do for each other is just listening….being fully present, also just letting go of judging each other as moms and the ‘wars’ we have between each other. UGH. I’m so over the “breast vs. formula” battle and the “co-sleeping vs. own bed” battle. Whatever supports MOM’s mental and physical health and happiness supports BABY’s health and happiness. We are so scared we are doing it wrong and worried about our own choices that we put such judgment on each other. Gosh, if only this were to change in our culture, I think we’d all feel happier and healthier and not so isolated, more connected, have more energy.
I’m done babbling!
Krista, also see my posts on “anger” — I think a long time ago I put some tips on holding anger in mindful, gentle awareness. I’M LISTENING!
And one more thing….one thing I think we can and do do for each other is TOTAL ACCEPTANCE of where another woman is at, what she is feeling. ALSO — just encouraging each other — to bring out our passions, notice our gifts, follow our hearts… THAT is enough to transform a woman, a nation.
Lisa,
this is such a beautiful call to living our truth, to finding our own voice as it travels through the landscape of our hearts! Such voice is a gift we have been given and now we are slowly reconnecting with it. I feel the power of your words dear. No wonder there is rage, this power has been suppressed for so long. Time to see with tenderness what has been waiting for ages to find expression! Yes, there is another way and seeing each other is vital! Thank you for sharing your vision of a new dawn. Much love!
Marjory
Ahhh, Marjory dear, even your comments are lush with loveliness! Thank you. Blessings to you, dear one. Lisa
Amen sister!! Amen!!
Lisa, thank you so much for this post! I really needed to read this today. You have a knack for writing things in a way that helps me to “get” it. Thank you!
Jen, that’s what i feel about your posts! whenever i go to your blog I say to myself, “oh that resonates w/ me!”
Yes, ENOUGH. I’ve got this feistiness in me — well, that’s nothing new. But there’s just this UGH! ENOUGH of playing small. and enough of women tearing each other down. I really do believe that our soul sisters – near and far — online and in person — are our saving grace. I’m glad to know you, jen! Love, lisa
I thought I was the only one with the secret counter wiping obsession! It makes me feel in control. Enough!!! Thank you for your wise words.