I have no picture. I didn’t want to take one. There is one already etched in my mind. The other evening, we were all packed up in the minivan and off to our friend’s house for a lovely evening to be had. We parked. We started to get out. Then we noticed a HUUUUGE snake crossing the road (no joke!).
I am waaaaay freaked by snakes. Ever since a dream when I was about seven. I just freak out about them. My children, on the other hand, are fascinated by them. Even my two year old. (“I wuuuuuuv snakes, mommy!”)
I noticed myself becoming incredibly nervous. But I decided to engage in a new option: be fascinated. So I shouted to the kiddos in the back, “Hey guys! Look! A huuuuge snake up ahead! It’s crossing the road! Come see!”
My five year old leaped out of his carseat. Brian went to unbuckle our two year old.
I noticed a truck stop by the snake. I assumed they too were admiring this huge snake (that Brian insisted was NOT poisonous). But they weren’t. They were backing up. They tried to run over the snake.
Again and again. He backed up and tried to run over the snake while the snake hissed and tried to attack the truck.
I was in shock. It all happened so quickly — here were my son and I sitting in the front seat of our car now. Me – trying to be fascinated and face my fear of snakes for my kiddos’ delight. My son – over the top excited and entranced by the snake.
Before I could act to turn my son’s gaze from watching, we saw it happen. The truck ran over the snake. It twitched and twitched. “OH my god! He ran over the snake! I’m so sorry! Oh son, I’m so sorry!” My heart ached as I watched the snake laying there. A million things crossed my mind. I have never ever seen someone right in front of me intentionally KILL another living being. I mourned for this snake. AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE SNAKES. I FEAR them. My heart SANK for my son as I pulled him close to me. He was already weeping.
The truck pulled up beside us and gave us a thumbs-up. I felt sick. Physically sick. My son was wailing. A sound came from deep within him that I had never heard before. Mourning. Brian came around and held our son. I took our daughter inside. They prayed for the snake and sent it some healing energy.
I have never seen anyone take a life before. But I’m an adult. My little five year old — he is trying to make sense of the world, seeing that the world is a bit bigger than our sunshine-filled kitchen. Brian was brilliant with how he held our son.
Ironically, later that night, at our friend’s house, after a huge rainstorm that we all watched from the porch, our friend had a “fake snake” (it still made me squirm) that he got from our local zoo. My son and daughter both held it and hugged it. Again my two year old, “I wuuuuv snakes, mommy!” And our five year old hugged it tightly and asked, “Mom, if we go to the zoo and get one of these, can it sit at the table with us and eat dinner?”
That spirit of the that snake might be at our dinner table for a loooong time. That somehow seems right. Both Brian and I talked last night about how we didn’t do enough to get the truck to stop. Shock or not. Maybe we are doing enough in teaching our children that when people do mean things it’s because they are scared. And to help them become “unscared.” Maybe we are doing enough in teaching our children about compassion and a regard for life – whether or not we have “issues” with that life. Maybe we are doing enough by comforting our children in ways that allow them to experience the fullest sense of their emotions…and for it to be OK. That fake snake we will get at the zoo will be a reminder for me of just this.
And as our son was going to bed he said, “Mom, you don’t have to be afraid of snakes. Here’s what i’ll do. Me and dad will tell you if we see a snake if it is poisonous or not. If it’s poisonous, you can stay inside. If it’s not, you can come out. You’ll be safe, mom. I’ll protect you this way.”
I’ll protect YOU this way, my son, by being honest with you, comforting you when you see the cruelty of life, and holding you until a “right response” rises up from within you and respond with offering your unique healing balm to this world.
Blessings,
They say boys decide around 3 they are going to be their Mom’s protector. That never stops.
OMG, I have tears in my eyes. I happen to love snakes, but the way you handled everything with your children was just so beautiful, they’re so fortunate to have parents like you. I love that you all sent it healing energy. I’ve worked with animal spirit guides for years. This is part of a quote from my book on what the energy of snake offers you in return: “Snake is a powerful spiritual essence. Snake acknowledges your spiritual transformation and calls upon you to walk the path your soul intended.” And with death, comes rebirth. That’s such a powerful story. Thank you for sharing.
Dani, I hope you read this. I am grateful to you for quoting your book about the spirit of the snake. The magical energy she has. YEs, she is calling me. What do I need to let die? And right now. all at once. And…what needs to be birthed? Thank you dani for this reflection.
That is so sad, but at the same time a very beautiful story. I’m here crying as I realize once more that some hurts from the past didn’t heal yet. I admire you for the way you dealt with the situation and how you explained things and supported your children in understanding what happened. I have seen many times someone kill an animal in front of me. It was done on purpose, just to make me cry. My little bird that I loved has been killed, a little kitten I found to take care of has been killed. One did the crime and another one held me forcing me to look. I’m so sad
Nikky, it is GOOD for you to cry. This is a release. This shows that you are not numb. You are ALIVE. And nothing and no one can kill that. Yes, you have experienced cruelty. This is what makes your ability to be so compassionate that much more amazing. You could very easily choose another path. But you don’t. Your soul is destined to find and cultivate beauty and peace and safety and compassion.
Thank you Lisa. You always have the right words to make me feel better. Much love <3
I am with Rev Dani Lynn only my tears are spilling out. I actually like snakes (am a nutty biologist-type remember?) and your story is precious and honest and tragic. I am lost for words dear Lisa, but all I can say is Thank You for sharing this powerful story, that it may help us all transform the pain of a life taken. I am so sorry for you and your family. Please know that you and Brian could not have done more… My heart goes out to you all. Bless your heart dear wise woman. Much love and hugs to you, Gina
Gina, yes yes I remembered! Gina, I didn’t even explain it well enough — we all FELT the snake’s pain. And we connected to the universal pain that all people have felt when they have witnessed someone taking a life. That snake’s energy is with us right now. My son talked about it again this morning — and then to a dear friend of his. I know how to ensure that this isn’t a trauma stored in his little heart and body and nervous system. He is moving through it very beautifully. I am grateful to have a partner like Brian who regards life as he does and holds his babies with such tenderness. Our son will remember how he was held. THANK YOU dear friend!
Although it was a horrible encounter and hard lesson, I’m so glad you were together as a family and could help your kids deal with this and take time to honour a life. I’m sorry you had to see it and the faces of those who were proud of their destruction. I think the snake spirit will be with you for a while yet!!
Louise, you are right on that the spirit of that snake will be with us for awhile. “she” is showing up in my dreams and meditations. Yes, you make a good point that it is a blessing we were all t here together as a family. Thank you for your kind words! Love, Lisa
A very touching article…
THANK YOU, “unsungpoet!”
Hi Lisa,I have nominated you for The Illuminating Blog Award!!
http://nikkysstrengthandweakness-nikky44.blogspot.com/2012/05/sharing-love.html
As someone who also had repeated nightmares about snakes in my childhood (wow, we have a lot in common, don’t we), I feel your horror at someone else trying to ‘save’ everyone from the presence of a kindred creature. I love that your beautiful children sent the snake healing energy. Surely, it will manifest again as a beautiful creation of this expanding universe. Loads of love to you and your sweet, sweet children.
Oh Angela, you brought soft tears to my eyes. Thank you for your kindness and lovely words!
That is funny how much we have in common. Ohh yes, BIG time fear of snakes!
Oh Angela, you brought soft tears to my eyes. Thank you for your kindness and lovely words!
That is funny how much we have in common. Ohh yes, BIG time fear of snakes! Buuuut, i see this shifting. Yes, yes, i know of the wisdom and energy of snake medicine. but still there has been a fear gripping me. embrace my own feminine power maybe?!!!!!!!!
Indeed! And, possibly, as your children did, send metta to those things you find generate some fear in you? An exercise of replacing fear with love. HUGE hug, sister!!
I am so glad to have read this. I am so happy to have found your blog today. One night two years ago I was bitten (twice!) on the ankle by a poisonous copperhead snake in the front yard of our remote farm while walking around with my 13-year-old dying dog.
Almost everyone’s first question was, Did you kill the snake? No. I usually just said that I was too busy freaking out (which I was). But I saw no reason to kill it. It was a young snake, and I’m pretty sure I was standing on it, which would be a pretty good reason to bite someone, especially when they didn’t get off you after the first bite. I spent a week in the hospital, most of it in the ICU, and my beloved dog died while I was away. The whole experience was (still is) surreal. Two years later my ankle still hurts most of the time.
I’ve spent 17 years living on a farm, and I’ve seen a lot of death. You kill things, on purpose and by accident. I have a huge reverence for other creatures’ lives, even those that I am eventually going to eat. We have killed snakes before, but I didn’t feel the need to end that one’s life. I love the quote Rev Dani Lynn shared above. I’ve never been particularly nervous around snakes, although now I never go outside during snake season without my boots on! 🙂
Oh Farmgirl Susan, I’m so glad that you found this blog too! Thank you for sharing your story. Wow — TWICE by a copperhead. And it still hurts. I’d imagine that it was/is a big deal — the whole experience. And with your beloved dog dying while you were away. Yes, you sure do sound like you have a reverence for life. I am in awe. There is something about being and working and living on a farm that — yes, we encounter lots of death (and birth) on a farm. We are reminded of our smallness and yet also connection to all of life. Though we don’t live on a farm now, my heart is in the wide open fields.
For a mother and her child, everything can be a life lesson… even witnessing the running over of a snake! I think there is symbolism here too.