becky_cooper

She bent down to look at her five year old superhero. “I see you, Cooper,” she said with a softness that made even me feel like I was wrapped in a warm blanket.  Her eyes were full of regard and her arms welcomed her son close to her.  My dear friend, Becki, had just arrived at my house to pick up her son from a playdate with my own superhero.  As often happens when our kiddos see mom, they get excited and need our attention.  When Becki paused and said, “I see you” with her eyes, heart, and arms, Cooper began to soften and settle.  It didn’t take longer than a few minutes.

Everyday our kiddos want us to see them, to really see them and regard them.  Even as adults we all want to be seen and regarded.  Same goes for our children.

Try it out.  Next time your child wants your attention, pause, slow down, look at them with regard, softly smile, and say, “I see you.”

Becki was also communicating, “You matter.”  Everyday our kiddos need to hear that they matter – to us, to our family, to this world.  Even though we feel this way, sometimes we don’t speak the words.  Say them.  Say them with your gentle eyes, soft smile, and kind words as you pause and really look at them.  Let your presence express your regard as you help your toddler into her carseat, as you pick up your child from a long day at school, as you look your teenager in the eyes before he goes into his room for some “alone time.”

I started saying this one the minute I read about it on Rachel Macy Stafford’s Hands Free Mama blog last year:  “I love watching you…”  and fill in the blank.  I love watching  you dance.  I love watching you hug your sister.  I love watching you play soccer.  I love watching you create your art.  I love watching you play the piano.  Whatever they do that makes your heart smile, tell them how much you love watching them.

When spoken and repeated every day, these messages begin to take up residence in a little one’s soul.  He begins to believe in his worth.  She begins to carry these messages with her.  He learns how to see others.  She learns how to love…herself and others…just from a few simple moments of pausing and seeing our kiddos.  Repeated.  Every day.

*Check out the beautiful work of Tracy Sullivan at Dragonfly Dream Photography

* Check out Rachel Macy Stafford and the Hands Free Revolution she is inspiring.

** Need support in connecting with compassion to the dear ones in your life?  Over the phone, on skype, or in person, I work with people who want to live with more delight, compassion, and connection in their everyday lives. Check out my Compassion Coaching.

Blessings,
Lisa

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