Make Time for Love

Make time for love in your day
amidst the hurry
tackling the “to do” list
always waiting for a pause
to do what really matters
but every night falling into bed
exhausted, saying,
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Make time for love when you wake up
gently stretch, breathe in the blessings
in this very moment
and ask yourself,
“How do I want to live today?”

Make time for love in your morning
before you put on your shoes and you are out the door
to hold your child – two year old or teen –
with a look that says “I am your biggest fan.”

Make time for love at lunchtime
to slowly eat and taste your food
to find some gem
as you talk to your coworker,
fix a sandwich with your child,
or sit with your aging parent
and wipe crumbs from the corner of their mouth.

Make time for love in your afternoon
to put down your cell phone
to turn toward your child
and tell him how you longed for him
before he was born,
how you think she is a lovely human being
just as she is.

Make time for love in your evening
to see your husband and how he wants you to be happy
to see your wife and how much she holds
to say, “I see you, my love.”

Make time for love before bedtime
to finally tend to what your heart holds
and give yourself space to breathe,
to say thank you, forgive, and let go.

Make time for love in your day
before missed moments
become missed years
of moving through life
rather than
blessing it
kissing it
finding delight in

the first crocus blooming in spring,

the cool kiss of fall’s wind against your skin,

the way your teenage son towers over you,

the sound of your daughter’s voice
singing a solo in your kitchen,

the scribbles on paper your two year old
presents to you as art,

your partner gently kissing your forehead.

Make time for love in your life
amidst the tasks that must be done,
amidst the worry, the bills to be paid,
soccer practice, piano lessons,
deciding what to eat for dinner

to turn toward your beloved –
your child, partner, parent –
and without words of hurry
or how they should be different

look at them with eyes of deep regard
lingering
totally present
and behold them.

Lisa McCrohan

Dear One, we can go about our day creating time for love.  Little sacred pauses that bring us back to what is most important and reconnect us to our own hearts and each other.  BELIEVE you have time.  BELIEVE you hold the power to pause and make time for love.  Little moments of pausing.  Little moments of savoring.  Little moments of connecting.  THAT is how we can “spend” our time, our day, our lives.

2021 Update:  Recently, my teenage son was telling me something.  I was walking around – probably holding the laundry basket while also stirring the pot on the stove for dinner.  I was listening – sort of – but I wasn’t looking at him.  Then my son said to me, “Never mind.”  And started to walk away.

I stopped.  I remembered my parents’ advice on parenting teens: as long as your teenager keeps talking to you, that’s good.

My teenager was wanting to talk to me!  Yeah, I had to get some stuff done, but honestly, it could wait two minutes while I stop, look at my son, make eye contact, and give my full attention and listen.

I called back to him and said, “Hang on.  I’m ready to listen.  I’d love to hear what you wanted to share with me.”

He walked back into the kitchen and sat down on a stool at the kitchen island across from me.  And he started back up telling me about something big – to him – in his recent video game. I didn’t understand it, but I did get that he was wanting to connect with me and share with me something that matters to him.

I felt good about making that course correction.  Stuff still got done.  And honestly, listening to him was a break for me, too.  I don’t need to do “all the things.”  I don’t want to be so busy “doing all the things” that I miss what really matters to my soul – making time for love.

I’m not talking about some pollyann-ish B.S. pressure we put on ourselves as women/moms.  There are plenty of times when “making time for love” means loving ME – and that means saying “Hang on.  Let me finish writing this and then I can listen” or “I can listen after I go for a walk.”  There are times when we are just getting things done.  But now as my children are getting older and I can sense there are just a few years left until college, I am reminding myself once again of what matters.  And it’s about balance and forgiveness — some times I need to stop doing “all the things” and just connect.  And some times I can forgive myself for getting caught up in doing “all the things” and begin again with what’s on my heart to do — which is most often: connect and love.

In a world that will hurry us and push us to do more and be more, we can forget to “make time for love.”   We might make time for a lot of other things that just don’t matter.  Let’s make time for little moments of eye contact, a hug, a hand on the shoulder, a word of encouragement.  I swear, it’s these little moments of making time for love that will fill both us and our dear ones when we look back on our lives with knowing we have loved fully – imperfectly – but fully.