A True Happiness

You have panted for rest –
to discover a place where
you can finally feel whole.

You have gone out looking
for happiness in places that
have left you empty, anxious
and alone

only to return
to the inner landscape
of your heart

and discover that
the source of your happiness
lies within.

Now the wine doesn’t seem so appealing,
the long work days for the big house and
vacations seem nuts,
and turning away again and again
from the ones who matter most
seems foolish.

You put down your cell phone,
turn off the mind-numbing violent crime show,
put away the box of cookies you were about to finish off,

and you sit.

Your stuff is still here
but the regret, grief, and fear
that seemed so scary to face –
like they would surely overtake you –
now are waves
and you feel them
as tears of truth
finally being breathed
as they wet your cheeks.

You find that the waves settle,
and you are still here.
You feel your pulse, your breath.

That’s when you sense it – a deep peace within you.
Here all along, it has waited for you, been within you,
calling you rest.
Beyond names or words, you know it as You.

This is where you know that you are good,
you belong, you are enough,
and anything else is pure myth –
something you learned a long time ago
from others who were hurting, too.

Spaciousness now swims across your chest.
You soften. You rest.
The deep peace that dwells within
welcomes you Home.

Lisa McCrohan

Book: Gems of Delight
Podcast: Delightful, Episode 66

What does true happiness feel like to you? How do you know when you are truly happy?

The world will sell us on a certain type of happiness – the momentary happiness of things going our way or achieving success. The world will sell us products that promise happiness. The world will tell us that we aren’t happy without having “more and bigger” and that we should be discontent with what we have and who we are now.

So much of my work as a psychotherapist, coach, poet, author, and podcaster is about creating experiences for us to tune out the world and tune inward to our hearts – and abide there. The voice of the heart can get drowned out by the constant demands and stimuli of our daily life. Beneath the noise of the daily hustle and bustle resides our hearts.

All along your heart calls to you, calls you back home, to discover and embody a happiness that remains even in the rough waves of sadness, grief, failure, and disappointment.

You know this place of wisdom when you put your hand on your heart, feel your feet on the earth, and listen inward for what you deeply love.

Far from “fluffy” or “touchy feely,” turning toward what you deeply love, as Rumi says, saves you. It is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.

Tara Brach, meditation teacher, tells the story of talking with a hospice worker who shared that the greatest regret of men and women dying is that they did not live a life according to their own heart.

What is your heart calling you to right now in this season of your life?

Visit your heart often. Discover what delights your heart. I mean REALLY delights it – in the mess, in the mounds of laundry to be folded, the worries you hold, the work still left to be done late at night when you are tired. There are gems of delight right here. Glistening. Shining. Waiting for you to turn your attention to the quiet delight right here for you to savor.

How do you discover the gems of delight right in your everyday life?

As the poet David Whyte says, start close in.

Start with pausing,
softening,
feeling your feet on the earth,
feeling your hands fold open,
and feeling your breath breathing you.

Start with asking,
“What delights my heart?”
And listen.
Stay and listen.
Savor it.

You’ll want to turn toward the woes and worries.
You’ll want to disregard the good, the holy, and the delight-filled.
That’s just old patterns of thinking creeping up.
Go back to opening your heart and listening to what it says to you.

Start with just noticing and savoring.
The right action to take will arise on its own.
A truth begins to guide your decisions.
A truth that honors the deep delights of your heart.
And this will open you to living with a profound sense of freedom.

2023 update: I recorded a episode on my podcast, Delightful, where I share where I am finding and experiencing happiness right now. It’s episode 66: True Happiness. Tune in and see what resonates with you!