There is a beautiful Taoist adage that I have carried with me over the last several years of being a parent:  “When in doubt, do less.” 

I have found that when I do less — when I come into stillness, when I’ve done enough of asking for advice or trying to figure things out — a deep peace arises.  Not at first.  No, not at first.  And not “forever.”  But a deep knowing arises and a peace settles in my nervous system.  I see how all my anxieties, all my habitual patterns, all my fears begin to dissolve when I stop.  Stop trying.  Stop running.  Stop searching.  Stop talking – definitely stop talking!  And I learn how to be in the Silence.  A grace arises.

So when people ask me really specific questions – “what should I do about…..?”  We can talk about techniques. We can talk about solutions.  But really, the answer arises by cultivating a deep regard for returning home to your own heart and being in the quiet, the spaciousness, of the heart.

But we live in a culture of quick fixes, easy solutions, addressing only the symptoms, that’s constantly on the go drawing us outward instead of inward.  Into our own hearts.  We live in a culture of constantly searching, panting, reaching, looking for answers.  We live in a culture of trying to satiate our desire for belonging and to believe in our goodness, by eating too much, working too much, and numbing out too much.  We dismiss the wisdom of the sages through the centuries because it feels too hard, too raw, too real.

Sometimes we need a guide, a companion.  But any companion is just that — they are not “the” answer.  They hold the space for you to turn to your own heart.  That’s how Coaching works.  It’s different that “life coaching.”  We don’t create MORE for you to do.  You already “DO” so much!  We aren’t about figuring your life out with your head.  We are about UNdoing. We are about creating the SPACIOUSNESS for you to allow major shifts to happen, to witness them, and to feel the right answers and actions to take arising ON THEIR OWN.  NO efforting.  No trying.  THIS is living with ease.  THIS is what I want for all of us, the whole world!

The simplicity of the wisdom in “when in doubt, do less” is often overlooked, easily dismissed, and quickly rejected.  We get “annoyed” that the answer to our problems aren’t more complex.  There’s a lot of resistance to such wisdom.  But that’s just our culture, our addicted nervous systems, our egos keeping us going EVERYwhere and in every direction instead of being RIGHT HERE.

This moment is where we are free.