The Power of Vulnerability
By Lisa McCrohan

All that makes me tender –
makes my eyes glisten
with salty tears,
makes my lips quiver
and arms reach out to hold

all that makes me vulnerable –
makes me look less than perfect,
makes me ask for help
and surrender
to grace

unbinds my heart
and sets me free.

It cups my hand ever so gently
around my cheek
or yours
and say, “Oh beloved,
how beautiful you are.”

Lisa McCrohan

I used to believe that being strong meant appearing like you never need anything.  I used to believe that I was weak because I’ve never had a witty comeback to a snide remark.  I used to believe that I had to have it alllll together and not be lonely, needy or uncertain in order for others to want to be around me.

Does this resonate with you?

Maybe I never BELIEVED that deep within me – for there is always a voice within us that speaks our Truth.  But the voices of our world can so crowd our heads.  For awhile.  Because eventually, that tenacious, warrior-like Truth-teller within us breaks through all that buzzing in our heads and you hear her – whispering, shouting, pounding, quietly calling you to awaken.

I have always been a tender and “aware” person.  I sense the needs and suffering of others so easily.  I can sense their needs in this very moment and their deeper soul needs.  It could be my dear ones, my beloved, or people I am meeting for the first time.   And my heart softens; it grows tender to what they are experiencing.

Do you notice this about yourself, too?  Maybe you can pick up on the implicit, subtle needs, sufferings, and yearnings of your mom, your partner, your children, and even a dear friend.

A long time ago, I used to think I had to fix that, do something about it.  Such “going around fixing” and “doing” left me exhausted and depleted.  Have you ever felt swept up in the needs of someone else?  It’s human!  And often — sometimes — we may put all our attention into “doing for” another in order to avoid the tenderness and vulnerability within our own selves.

Now a days, I can be with what I sense and be alongside someone. I don’t have to rush in and fix or save.  Oh the desire/impulse might still be there at times! For sure!  But I can quickly recognize that that impulse to “jump in”.  I can recognize that I am avoiding my own suffering.

To be alongside someone else comes from not running from our own suffering.  It comes from learning to BE WITH what is tender and fragile and incredibly vulnerable within us.  Even our deepest sadness and grief.  Even the rage we inherit as women whose powerful, femininity has been squelched for centuries.

These days, don’t you feel the call to authenticity, to vulnerability and living fully?!

More and more in my 40’s, I am no longer hiding when I am powerful, the fruits of decades of continuously tuning inward in prayer and meditation, movement and stillness.  AND…these days I am no longer shrinking when I am vulnerable, still in the “not yet” and still in the “becoming.”

I see how soooo many women are rising in a similar way.  We are standing sure in our power.  We are sharing in community with other women when we are vulnerable.  I see how some men are discarding the “tough masculine” machismo ideal that festers rage and isolation.  They are embracing (slowly, very slowly) the idea that men can be powerful in being vulnerable.

It’s time.  It’s time we see the gift of vulnerability.  The gift of being tender.  Whenever we are vulnerable and tender – beginning with our own selves – we truly unbind our hearts.  We awaken to a power that goes way beyond our culture’s definition of power.  We embrace all the parts of ourselves.  And we have compassion – for ourselves and each other.  THIS is how we truly heal – our own hearts and our world.